How to FIGHT Despair

Today, I want to talk about despair and the freedom we may have from its clutches. 

I, like many of you, have known despair. Most of us have. It is part of the human condition. Part of living in a fallen world.

It is also far worse than we think it is, and we often don’t understand it even after we experience it. If someone asks me to tell them what despair is, my first response is probably going to be something along the lines of “it is an extreme case of sadness.” Maybe you would come up with a similar line. 

But that definition isn’t entirely correct, is it? If we could boil despair down to that and only that, then–and I do not aim to say this flippantly–it would be an unpleasant but relatively harmless affair. 

And nothing about despair is harmless. 

Despair is a state of being that is malevolent to the health of our very soul. It eats away at our will to live in two different senses of the word–meaning it quite often creates a compulsion to literally end one’s life as well as dramatically inhibits one’s ability to live abundantly. 

At the root of despair sits hopelessness, an all-consuming and absolutely gut-wrenching sense that things are irreparably bad and only going to get worse. Despair makes simple tasks like rising from one’s bed in the morning or laughing with friends or going to work a herculean challenge. It takes our zest for live and eats it for breakfast. 

Here’s the good news: the believer neet not experience despair. Freedom from despair is one of the many blessings afforded to us as new creations in Christ. 

But while the previous statement is true, there is a chance some may not find it all that useful. Most believers will nonetheless experience these incredibly dark seasons of life, which is why I said they “need not” experience despair instead of “they are guaranteed not to.” 

I certainly experienced despair as a young believer. My walk with the Lord was basically brand-new. I still wrestled daily with old sins and addictive vices, and I felt hopelessly stuck.

In fact, instead of getting better, it felt like my dabbling in sin only grew steadily worse. I hated myself deeply for it, but no matter how hard I tried, my addiction to my own dysfunction and wickedness kept expanding. It became a toxic, debilitating cycle of emptiness, giving in to temptation, self-hatred, and then emptiness again. 

Each strategy I employed to rid my life of this willful sin came up woefully short. I had the maddening feeling that I was never going to live the abundantly free life God had offered me–instead, it seemed my destiny was to sink ever deeper into the mire of my own filth. 

I lived in this despair for almost a year. You probably have a similar story. Maybe you have struggled with sin, suffered through a health crisis, endured the death of a loved one, failed to provide for your family, watched your marriage implode before your eyes, etc. 

So what are we to do when these horrific seasons come? Our gut reaction is usually to claw, kick, and scream, frantically searching for a way out. We consult our toolkit and see if we can’t, by our own strength and ability, conquer the source of our despair. 

This is a huge problem. Not only does this plunge us further into our despair when our own solutions inevitably fail; I would argue it is also the primary source of our despair–much more so than whatever negative circumstances first “set us off.” 

Let’s see what the Bible has to say on this matter.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;

    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalm 34:17-20

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

 and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

The righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the Lord delivers him from them all;

he protects all his bones,
    not one of them will be broken.

Notice a common theme in those passages?

The first one says “do not be dismayed, for I am your God” (emphasis mine). The reason, or basis, as to why we ought not to despair is not found in our own abilities or through some convoluted explanation. It is simply this: we are not to despair because He is our God. He is for us, and therefore who can stand against us? He, as our God, is our chief source of delight and purpose and deliverance and stability–not the comfort level of our current circumstances or our ability to control our life. 

In other words, when I relied upon myself, I quite naturally lived in hopeless despair. When I placed my full trust and reliance in the Lord, the clouds of my despair gradually parted, even as my immediate circumstances did not automatically change for the better. 

In the same way, the second passage tells us that when despairing people call out to God, He will deliver them–Him and nothing else. It further says that those who are broken in spirit are not alone. The Lord is close at hand. If you’re in a time of despair right now, then that is a life-changing statement. 

Your despair is not as much about what you’re going through as it is who you’re going to. Think on it: if you don’t initially go to Him, it is symptomatic of a larger problem in your life. He probably isn’t first in your life. That’s going to give you far more despair than whatever it is you’re currently contending against. 

So…you who are broken in spirit, you who are trapped in a perpetual cycle of despair, stop trying to fix it on your own. Call upon Him. He is your only hope.